OK I tried a bunch of flags with Hazard and iPC (saw them on another forum):

-v -x io=0x21 platform=X86PC

"io=0x21" sets the APIC version to look for.

This gets me past the error "Local APIC version not as expected......." but I get another error. Something about ACPI or somethin'. Isn't it funny that all of the errors here involve the letters A, P, I, and C? I don't know what to do....

I will post a screenshot of the new error in a few minutes.